I took a moment to process everything Justin had said. Their mom's overdose -- how painful for the whole family. Joeie never having a parent. A kid having to help raise a kid. I couldn't help but think of all the dysfunction they grew up in. How Justin is probably doing his best but started so young, he had no idea what he was doing.
"Can you tell me more about your mom's death?"
Justin nodded, swallowing down a lump in his throat. He looked away for a second, then reconnected with my eyes. "We were living together... my mom, Joeie, and me. I had stayed because I didn't trust my mom to fully care for Joeie... but Jeremy and Jonnie had gone. Our mom nearly overdosed a few months before, but I was home and took care of it, administered the Narcan. It scared Joeie so much that she begged our mom to get help, and she finally agreed. She was inpatient for a little while and then going to this intensive outpatient program. Everything was going so well." Justin cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his seat. "Then she relapsed. I don't know what triggered it. But I was too late that time." He sucked in an uneasy breath, then pushed through. "Joeie was young enough to have cried with me at first. She had so many questions... I couldn't answer them. Jeremy was there to help, too. He never let us see him feel anything about it, but he didn't discourage Joeie's feelings. Jonnie didn't go to the funeral. He was pissed off at everything and in the height of his use. It was a hard time for us though. I worked on moving us out -- Jeremy helped me buy the house we're living in now, in a much better area. Joeie made a friend in the neighborhood right away. But that time was really difficult for me. I don't think I was always the best guardian for her. I'm glad Jeremy was there."
The guilt seemed to consume him. Not being good enough for Joeie... probably stemming from never feeling good enough for his mom. He got his needs best met when he was taking care of everyone. But the responsibility was given to him at way too young of an age so he must've been struggling with so much anxiety.
"And how was the pandemic? It must've been shortly after her death?"
Now he looked even heavier with guilt. "I don't know how it was for her. For me it was awful... working all the time, worrying about everyone's health. Jonnie couldn't work so we had him move in with us to take care of Joeie. She was 11-going-on-12. I think she loved having the fun brother in charge. They moved the living room furniture and ordered a mat so they could practice wrestling and fighting moves during the day." He grinned, undoubtedly enjoying the fond memories that came to mind. "And then one night that summer while Jeremy and I were both working, Jonnie took her to a protest. We almost killed him after that... he had her out all night when there was a lockdown in the city." I could feel his anxious energy surging again. "She loved it though, and she deserves some happy memories."
I smiled. "And what about her peer relationships? Was she able to socialize during the pandemic? And how are her friendships now?"
Justin nodded. "She has one really close friend, Alex, a boy who lives in our neighborhood that she met almost right away. His mom also loves Joeie and treats her like family. They were able to stay in touch and socialize during the pandemic, and are still close, though I think they've had some issues lately. Jo has started hanging out with some older teens she met at the skatepark, and I get the feeling that Alex doesn't like them."
Now what Joeie had said in her magic wand response made more sense. She wanted Alex and her new friend to get along.
"She's never had difficulty making friends at school. She's social and kind of the class clown and friendly with everyone."
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